The grand truth of

In the last 2 years, I've tried to raise an issue, sometimes single handedly and sometimes with some support. However, it came with a price tag. Of being misunderstood, of being questioned to the level of my integrity and purpose behind doing what I thought could be my meagre contribution to the cause.
I'm unsure, as to how much I could actually achieve however, am pretty sure of what all I've lost in bargain. The most that I've lost is my ability to merge in the crowd. Supporting a cause or fighting for a cause, you start portraying a picture that is larger than life, where people look at you in suspicion at times, and with awe at times, but never actually considering that you too are similar to them.

Finally, I realized that changes do not come, unless the people for whom you are fighting for, should take the fight on their own shoulders. But then everyone looks forward to a leader. We all become accidental heroes, but no one wishes to be a hero for himself or herself, which is the greatest pity I found in today's generation.

What do I wish to achieve, is the most prominently asked question. And I'm unable to answer it, because the suspicious minds around only look at the hidden agenda behind, and self-less acts are not welcome anymore.

What I was doing, or tried to do, was not self less. Everything I do, is for myself, because that's what I believe in, even loving my family for that matter. But the bigger than life image which came in the bargain, got me only discomfort and misunderstandings. What I tried to do, was only because I could not be a person, who could sit and see something happening, and do nothing. I tried and I failed. And the hard fact is that in the end, I managed to loose my identity for getting portrayed as someone bigger, which unfortunately I'm not.

Eventually, I had to decide to let go, because in the bargain, I had started loosing friends, who for their own reasons, started staying aloof, people that I respect started misunderstanding and worst, I was unable to give due time to my family.

I would not like to think of myself as a failure, as I'm, but, only a normal human being, and what i tried to do, pushed me levels higher, for which I'm not big enough, at least professionally, or to be able to actually do anything, but to look forward and appeal to the people, who could make things happen. Hopefully, someday, I will, but until then, I'd love to lead a normal life, back in the crowds, and not like a celebrity, because being cast out from the crowd, is not a pleasant feeling.

So, adios and apologies to all those, who understood the context of what I'm talking of, but unfortunately, I'm not willing to loose more.